The House of Ten Thousand Complaints

Some houses have character. This one has opinions—about everything.

When professional "procurement specialist" Marnie Fleetfoot accepts a royal commission to retrieve a legendary artefact from a sleeping giant's home, she expects the usual challenges. What she doesn't expect is a house where every single object has something to say about her technique, her appearance, and her utter lack of appreciation for fine craftsmanship.

From the moment she steps onto a carpet with boundary issues to her confrontation with the most self-important magical sword in the kingdom, Marnie finds herself in an increasingly absurd battle of wits with furniture that refuses to be stolen from quietly. Doors critique her outfit choices. Chandeliers question her life decisions. Even the floorboards have strong opinions about her footwork.

But as the giant begins to stir and the house's complaints turn to rebellion, Marnie discovers that sometimes the greatest treasure isn't what you came to steal—and that she may have been pursuing the wrong prize all along.

Witty, whimsical, and wickedly funny, The House of Ten Thousand Complaints is a rollicking adventure that brings inanimate objects brilliantly to life. In this enchanting world, the most dangerous thing about breaking into a giant's house isn't the giant—it's having to endure the commentary from every last teacup and tassel along the way.